Hi! I’m Allison.
Lovin’ life, since 1980.
Mama. Wife. Psychotherapist. Visionary of the family. Recovering perfectionist. Retired singer-dancer. Lover of sunshine, movement, and fresh food.
I’m here to teach you how to have a thriving romantic relationship post-kids.
Professionally, I’ve guided other couples through this chapter.
Personally, I’m living proof that it’s possible.
Here’s my story.
A year and a half ago, I was in the weeds of life.
Always an over-achiever, my life had been a non-stop race to live the modern Canadian dream: get married to the love of my life, buy the house, reno the house, have the kids, and work to maintain said-dream.
Every day was groundhog day:
My husband, Arjan, and I would get woken up early by our kids, make breakfast, pack lunches, hope the kids eat enough, rush out the door to daycare/school/work, squeeze-in some grocery shopping, pick up the kids, make dinner, negotiate with the kids to eat said-dinner, take turns with my husband doing bedtime/dishes, maybe have enough energy to watch a show as a couple, go to bed. Rinse and repeat.
Here’s the thing. I loved being a mom, wife, and therapist. (And, still do, for the record.)
But, even though Arjan and I were a great co-parenting team, we were passing ships in the night.
I couldn’t continue to live on the edge of burn-out, being the main caregiver, and running my business.
Arjan felt it, too. Our disconnection was getting harder to ignore (this was the new post-kids “normal”, right?) and he was missing out on precious moments with our young kids because of his work schedule.
We had so much love to give to our family, but no time or energy left for each other.
If things continued on this path, in five to ten years , I could only see our relationship heading in one direction: nowhere. The dreaded “D” word was my greatest fear.
Not because we didn’t love each other, but because there was no space for us.
Something had to change.
INTENTIONAL LIVING IN MEXICO
After many, MANY conversations, Arjan and I got clear on our values; We needed more time as a couple and more time as a family.
Our solution was to take a four month family sabbatical to Mexico.
The empowerment that came during the months leading up to Mexico brought us closer than ever before.
We had made our relationship a priority, gotten clear on our values, and for 8 months, we worked every day towards making that vision become a reality.
Finally, we were connected as a couple and clear about how we wanted to live our most intentional life.
Being in the moment with our kids, and with each other, opened our eyes to a new way of living.
We haven’t looked back since!
WHERE ARE WE NOW?
After our four month family sabbatical, we returned home to Toronto, Canada for four months. I felt like I was having a love affair with our city: the comfort of friends & family, the diverse restaurants & culture, the familiarity of farmer’s markets & playgrounds (I love Toronto!).
It was bliss.
Probably, because I was emotionally preparing to move again (yes, back to Mexico) & didn’t want to take a minute of ‘home’ for granted.
Our choice to move back to Mexico was (surprise, surprise) intentional & of our choosing, but saying goodbye for a year was bittersweet.
We are currently living & working here for the year.
It took so much personal work to get here. But we did it, TOGETHER.
We are living the dream that we designed. (Pinch me!)
The best part, is now we get to teach other couples how to make their own dreams come to fruition. Are you ready?
P.S. - Parenting in paradise, is still parenting…you get me?!
P.S.S. - Follow us on Instagram to keep up to date with our daily adventures!
Feel like the daily grind is wearing on you, but don’t know how to make changes
Love your kids like crazy, but have lost your sense of self in parenthood
Love your partner, but feel disconnected since having kids
Long to make changes in your life, but don’t know where to start
Don’t know exactly what you want, but you’re ready to do things differently
...you are not alone!
Now, it’s time for you & your couple.
Couples’ Tune-Up will give you a personalized plan on how to live your most intentional life. It’s a win for the whole family.
Check out what intentional living looks like for our family…